| From | Message |
| Barbara Wheeler
IP: 66.82.9.55 2/01/2006 22:06:46 |
 Subject: Deb, you are in our hearts tonightMessage: Just wanted to say to you, I know you have had a very trying day today, and there will be others. But you can rest assured that all of us here are keeping you and your family close to our hearts, our minds, and in our prayers. God bless and keep you and yours. (PLEASE.) |
| cheryl IP: 12.44.222.82 2/01/2006 22:47:52 | RE: Deb, you are in our hearts tonight Message: deb, i'm so sorry about your mom. ask for help. you shouldn't have to take it all on by yourself. hospice is a wonderful option. it's not just for the dying. i will say a prayer also. |
| Jill IP: 152.163.100.130 2/01/2006 23:39:03 | RE: Deb, you are in our hearts tonight Message: Deb, I had not even thought of the hospice help until Cheryl mentioned it. But a friend of mine is in management for a chain of hospices throughout many states and I would be happy to ask her if there are services and facilities that could help you right now. In fact, she took a job with this organization because they had been so compassionate and helpful to her mother and the entire family when her mother needed hospice care at home. Just let me know how I can help. Take care, Jill |
| karen1225 IP: 72.224.51.37 2/02/2006 06:32:38 | RE: Deb, you are in our hearts tonight Message: Deb, I went through something similar in 1981 with my Mom. She was collapsing and having really bad headaches, and the doctors told her she was having anxiety attacks. She had cancer and it had spread through her spine and brain. I will definitely add you to my prayers, and I will add your entire family and I know this is difficult for you. Hospice is wonderful, and they have workers who come to her house or your house, if your mother comes to stay with you. The know just what to do, and can help the entire family. My Mom stayed with us until she collapsed and couldn't speak, and went to the hospital, was finally diagnosed and went to Hospice for approximately 2 months. You and your family are in my prayers, and just take it day by day, and know that you aren't alone. People here are very kind, generous and loving, and will be a wonderful moral support to you in this trying time. God Bless you and your family, and watch over all of you. |
| Lynnie IP: 69.207.171.31 2/02/2006 07:46:27 | RE: Deb, you are in our hearts tonight Message: Deb - Cheryl and Jill are so right about hospice. They aren't just for the "actively dying" in a hospice facility, but also for managed care in the home for people who are failing. They regularly evaluate a patient's current needs and coordinate things such as a meds change or equipment with the patient's medical providers. Those needs change from week to week and you don't need to drag someone out of their home for doctor appointments. Hospice enables caretakers to care for their loved ones in a home setting with confidence and some extra support. In addition to a weekly visit at home from a nurse, they can also send in an aid twice per week or so for tasks that bathing that become difficult or dangerous. Your mother doesn't sound like she needs full clinical care in a facility and you probably don't want to jump the gun on that step. To arrange for hospice, talk with your mother's internist, who will provide you with recommendations of agencies in her area. The formality that is sobering, though, is sigining a DNR (Do Not Resussitate form). That frightens people sometimes, especially older people. It is hard to project that far ahead. But if you think of it, most anyone would want that if the circumstances warranted it. I've used hospice twice and they are wonderful people. In fact, my mother's hospice nurse became a friend of mine and actually bought her home before we put it on the market. You probably need to sit down an have a powwow with your daughter, mother and siblings. That is the tricky part, getting everyone to agree! Best wishes to you on all of this. It is a time in my life I wouldn't care to revisit, but you only have to do it ONCE. |
| Barbara Wheeler IP: 66.82.9.84 2/02/2006 08:58:37 | RE: Deb, you are in our hearts tonight Message: Hospice is one of the most compassionate groups of people I have ever had involved in my life. Everytime they are mentioned, those that have never had the need for immediate, tender care, seem to cringe away from the idea. But they can get you any and every thing you need to take care of your Mum! They also take really great care of the whole family. They are not just caring for the ill. Their skills and compassion help the whole family adjust to changes that happen with the member of the family that is actually being treated. They have every resource available to them, so hospice is not just where people go for their final days. It is where families receive the love and care and structured support to get on with the day to day tasks of living. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} |
| Sheltie Girl IP: 68.59.247.39 2/02/2006 09:02:57 | RE: Deb, you are in our hearts tonight Message: Deb you are in my prayers and thoughts! I really hate that you are going through this and know that we are here for you..I think the hardest thing in life is to see your Mom sick because there is such a strong bond between a Mother and Daughter. Lori |
| debodel IP: 72.15.74.191 2/02/2006 09:17:13 | RE: Deb, you are in our hearts tonight Message: You guys never cease to amaze me. I went to see my Mom yesterday when I got off work. She did not look well at all. They want to put her on a respirator and she said no. She has and used a nebulizer at home. Her biggest problem is that she won't quit smoking. The nebulizer and her inhaler helped her breathe and then she would just fill her lungs up with cigarette smoke. I did notice that when I went in to see her that her doctor has her on "the patch" to stop smoking. She has to in order to continue to live and breathe. Please pray for her strength to give up this habit that is killing her. I really don't know alot about hospice and I appreciate all the ideas that you all are giving me, because I know your minds are working better than mine right now. She doesn't want to go to a nursing home, so we have talked about home health care. My oldest brother is flying in this morning. I will post later after I get a progress report. |
| Barbara Wheeler IP: 69.19.14.41 2/02/2006 09:21:16 | RE: Deb, you are in our hearts tonight Message: Deb that is the real beauty of hospice. They come to you! When and where you need them. They will provide constant round the clock support. And like I said not just for your Mum, but for those in the family providing the every day care. I will call you later. You have been on my mind all night. |
| debodel IP: 72.15.74.191 2/02/2006 09:47:32 | RE: Deb, you are in our hearts tonight Message: Well, if hospice is anymore caring or compassionate than this group of ladies, then I will seek them out. I just want you all to know that I just received a personal phone call from Barbara. I have to tell you that between you ladies and the ladies in my Bible Study, I cannot be surrounded by any better support group. We have not given up and still believe that with the right treatment she can get better. I know that her life is already planned and that a glorious home awaits her where there is no pain and no more tears and she will be called to that home when the Good Lords says it's time. My prayer is that her days here are not spent suffering and her body racked with pain. She deserves peace. I love you all, Deb |
| Barbara Wheeler IP: 66.82.9.57 2/02/2006 10:01:06 | RE: Deb, you are in our hearts tonight Message: God will NOT give you more than you can handle Deb! The load will be lighten by the path that he will lead you on. You take comfort in your faith, that all will be provided when it is needed. Not a moment before and never too late. Love. |
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