| From | Message |
| debodel
IP: 72.15.74.191 2/01/2006 11:09:14 |
 Subject: I need your help, ladiesMessage: Ok, most of you know that I was on vacation last week and that my sister was in town and we shopped and shopped and then shopped some more. Well, on Thursday, my mom had a routine Dr's appt. She is 73 and has been a smoker since she was about 15 - you do the math. Anyway, she has been on full time oxygen for about a year now. She moved from Florida to Georgia in July '05 because she can no longer live by herself. My sister left on Saturday to go home and we were all exhausted. Monday my daughter, who lives with my mom, called me and said that my Mom had been sleeping alot since Saturday. I went over Monday night after work, took chinese food - we all ate and she just said that she felt fine, but she was just tired. Kathi, my daughter, said that as soon as we left she went back to bed. Tuesday afternoon, my hubby goes over to check on her and he said that she was really out of it. He couldn't keep her awake, disoriented when she was awake and confused. So, we took her to the ER, thinking stroke. Well, she had high levels of carbon dioxide in her system from her lungs being so week she can't exhale properly and she has pneumonia in her right lower lung. Ok - I've rambled on enough. What do I need from you, you are probably asking right about now. Prayers and positive thoughts headed her way. I know that she probably doesn't have long left on this earth, but I pray that what time she has left is not spent suffering. I thought I could do this when we decided to move her from Florida, but I just don't know how strong I can be. So, pray for God to give me the strentgh and the wisdon I need to make the right decisions regarding her health care. I have 7 other brothes and sisters scattered all about the US. Of course, in times like these the "girls" in the family seem to take on the biggest responsibility. And thought I have two sisters, one younger and one older - the older sister and I are probably the two that will have to handle most of what is handled. TIA for all of your prayers. |
| Sheltie Girl IP: 68.59.247.39 2/01/2006 11:32:28 | RE: I need your help, ladies Message: Deb I am so sorry about your Mom!But I know how hard it is...my Mom is 71 and year ago this month mine fell broke her hip and shoulder and then one week later she had a heart attack..plus she is a diabetic on top of everything.I have to do just about everything for her..she does not even drive anymore.There have been times I think Lord I cannot keep going..I am just worn out.It is at these times he seems to picks me up and he carries me.You and your family are in my prayers..but especially you..my prayer is for him to carry you and give you the strength that you need to get through this! Lori |
| Lynnie IP: 69.207.171.31 2/01/2006 11:32:51 | RE: I need your help, ladies Message: Oh, Deb! I've been here and am so sorry to hear you are seeing such a decline. Does your Mom have emphysema? The good news is that the pneumonia will clear up and maybe they can even jack up her oxygen levels. But, what you need to watch for is congestive heart failure from fluid buildup if she is not as active now and has the pneumonia. That one is easy to spot and I dealt with that a few times with my mother. It is manageable as well and it sounds like Kathi is tuned in to what is happening. It's an awful place to be for children, whether you live close or far. You just take it one step at a time. Big hugs and prayers. |
| Barbara Wheeler IP: 69.19.14.15 2/01/2006 11:39:54 | RE: I need your help, ladies Message: Deb, I am afraid I understand your plight all too well. Right down to the lions share of the "*work*" being on your sholders. It is all difficult at best, but I will offer you this bit of insight. If you are the one with the weight of the situation on your sholders, do what you think is right and best at any given time. Pulling in *opinions* now will only lend itself to everyone "wanting you to do it their way" leaving you feeling overwhelmed and guilty if you do not comply with their wishes. Does you Mum have a living will, do you have POA, are there DNR orders for her? These are the first tough questions you will need to address immediately. Do you know her wishes about what she wants to happen? I will be here, as you well know. You can call me anytime. 1-912-538-7028 I was there in August of 2001 with my Mum, so if I can offer more than a prayer please let me help. We love you and pray for your continued strength through out this time. |
| Moi IP: 66.215.188.48 2/01/2006 11:51:38 | RE: I need your help, ladies Message: Deb, I can't even imagine the helpless feeling that comes with watching a parent or a child suffering, and not being able to do a single thing about it. But, by being there you're doing a lot about it. I imagine your mom is feeling scared and unsure about her own future and just having her most precious "possessions" around her is a tremendous support. You're such a good person Deb. You've been so caring and kind and supportive in my situation. I've sent up a prayer asking Heavenly Father to give you the strength you've tried to give to so many, to help you through to the outcome, whatever it might be. He knows what you're feeling. He gave his Son willingly and had to 'sit by' and watch as He suffered and ultimately died. He does know what you're going through and through your prayers and the prayers of all those around you He will comfort you and give you the strength you need to get through this. And it if isn't her time, but His will that she have many more years on this earth, then Amen, God is GREAT! He knows you and your mother, Deb... He will be with you no matter what. Know that we love you and care about you and your mother!!! |
| Jill IP: 71.137.31.27 2/01/2006 12:05:17 | RE: I need your help, ladies Message: Deb, I, too, am praying for your mom's recovery, for strength and comfort for you as you deal with any decisions that need to be made. Yes, I can relate to the issue of caretaking falling to the girls in the family - yet as usual, we rise to the occasion and it is obvious you are doing so as we speak! Are you pleased with her pulmonary physician? If not, I'm a big believer in second opinions! We are with you!!! Love, Jill |
| Grace IP: 209.103.198.147 2/01/2006 12:35:34 | RE: I need your help, ladies Message: Deb, You are in my thoughts and prayers. I lost my mother a year ago in January. |
| debodel IP: 72.15.74.191 2/01/2006 12:51:46 | RE: I need your help, ladies Message: Wow - I sit hear reading these words from each and every one of you and I am blubbering like an idiot. You have no idea what a comfort each of you are and I love you all dearly. She does have emphysema and COPD. She sounded so weak this morning when I talked to her on the phone and she seemed so much better by the time I went home last night. My oldest brother is flying in tomorrow. My oldest sister is on standby and will be here in a moments notice if needed. I knew I could count on this amazing group of ladies, not that I ever doubted it for a minute. I will keep you posted as I find the time. Thank you, each of you. You are all angels. |
| Lynnie IP: 69.207.171.31 2/01/2006 13:11:07 | RE: I need your help, ladies Message: Deb - are you working with any healthcare or social workers? They were godsends to me. Something you might run by her doctor if she doesn't already use one - a nebulizer. You can use them at home. That gave my mother great comfort and prevented a couple emergency COPD trips. It opens up those narrow airways. ((More hugs)) |
| Barbara Wheeler IP: 69.19.14.15 2/01/2006 13:50:53 | RE: I need your help, ladies Message: Deb- I will ditto that nebulizer thought. I don't know what Mum would have done without it. I honestly believe it gave her about 6 extra months. We are all with you through this time of trial! {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Much love and prayers for you and your whole family during these hours. These are some remarkable ladies that have gathered here. I think we are all blessed beyond compair by our having *met* one another. What else can we do? |
| Moi IP: 66.215.188.48 2/01/2006 15:54:53 | RE: I need your help, ladies Message: Deb, I remember my grandmother found a lot of relief using the nebulizer as well. They knew they couldn't cure the cancer, but it helped her breath. She too had emphysema and it was such a struggle for her. Heavy smoker all her life. Couldn't quit to save her life... literally. |
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